Kristin Larsen

Moving Through The Seasons Of Grief

While driving on a local rural road, I noticed the leaves beginning to change color. My windows were open, and the smell of the fall season was in the air. Suddenly, emotions flooded within me like a tidal wave. It felt like moving through the seasons of grief.

Has it happened to you?

One second, you are in the presence of life, and the next, memories invade your current space of peace.

Triggered by the reminder of something you see, a familiar smell, a word or a phrase you hear, a flavor from a food, a texture that you touch.

It reminds you of someone who is no longer physically there in your life. Your heart begins to ache, and you miss them. The imagery created in that moment takes you back into memories of the past. A place that carries an open wound of grief from something that feels like it was lost.

Surrendering to love

There is an opportunity to acknowledge the hurt and pain that surfaces. In this opportunity, there is an invitation to surrender to love. A way to appreciate and honor the person who has moved on to the next phase in life. It is a reminder of how important they were.

There are many ways to honor and appreciate them. One way is through the expression of emotion. Cry, journal, or share your thoughts and feelings with others.

It doesn’t have to mean staying in the loss of suffering. The perspective of love can assist with moving through the seasons of grief.

Choosing the perspective of love

Celebrating and honoring the person or memory amidst the grief could mean seeing the perspective of love in the memories. The way to do that is through a self-compassionate lens. Accessing the lens requires acknowledging the love for that memory. The love for the person.

Be open to what is calling for attention from the surfacing grief.

Each chosen effort to acknowledge the grief, to see through the perspective of love, expands the capacity to fully love.

As the seasons change, so too will the grief pass through.

Focus transmutes grief into an appreciation of love that was never lost.

The Illusion Of Our Deepest Fear

Fear of failure. Fear of judgement. Fear of the unknown and uncertainty. Fear of no control. Fear of change. Fear of rejection. Fear of disappointing others. Fear of loneliness.

What if our deepest fear might extend deeper than these common, intricate fears?

Misinterpreting the fear

Initially, the first thought might be that our fear is obvious. To be with the fear in it’s fullest could take some time to extract what it really means in our interpretation.

However, what if the fear funneled towards a doubt that maintains the illumination of what we interpret the fear to be?

What if our fear was really that we question being enough or worthy to let go of the fear we question?

For example, what if we were not afraid of failing?

What would contribute to not being afraid of failing?
We might embody some attributes of trust, faith, conviction, belief in self, focus on being our best, utilizing our strengths, and being open to possibility, etc.

In the experience, there is room for growth and learning. Maybe we acknowledge that and believe that we are enough in that moment and worthy to succeed?

The decision to shift our focus from the fear

When the decision is made to acknowledge the true potential within, fear begins to dissipate.

Shifting the perspective away from the feared “what if’s” of fully acknowledging our true potential.

The “what if’s” are what we think our deepest fear is. I might be thinking, “If I fully embrace my full potential and fail, how will that look to others, will it mean I’m not good enough, will I still be accepted by others, what if I don’t know all the answers, etc.

Letting go of past stories and meanings

When the stories and meanings are not attached to what our true potential really is, possibility is an open canvas.

Sometimes it isn’t easy to let go of the attachment to the past. Healing and reconfiguring the meanings of experiences can assist in letting go and finally moving forward without the constant, looming doubt that reinforces the fear.

A shift towards the belief in the current state of being that embodies what it means to embrace one’s full potential.

A new state of being

What if I trusted myself, what would I need to trust fully within myself?

What if I believed in myself, what would I need to believe about myself?

What if I were being my best, what would I need to do to be my best?

What if I were to utilize my strengths, what strengths would help me navigate this experience effectively?

What if I chose to believe in possibility, what possibilities would be open to me now?

The focus is no longer on the fear. It is shifted to a new state of being that can be adapted when “being enough” and “being worthy” are embraced.

Embracing our full potential acknowledges being enough and worthy to radiate our true light within the full acceptance of integrity to self.

Suffering In The Human Experience

What does “suffering in the human experience” really mean?

A person’s attention could be drawn to the emotional side of suffering. They could display such emotions as sadness, fear, anger, and shame. Thoughts could lead to behaviors that identify with despair, depression, anxiety, hurt, and pain. The anguish of suffering is often viewed as a negative experience. Obviously, unwanted, undesired, and unaccepted. Continually resisting, drifting deeper into torment and misery.

What is the purpose of suffering

Often, suffering is an invitation. It is calling our attention to healing. To resolve something that still requires processing.

The deeper part of ourselves wants our presence, care, and understanding. The logical part of our processing wants understanding or rationalizations of why. When those answers can’t be produced, the suffering slices deeper into the experience.

What is the invitation?

The invitation is not in plain sight. It requires some elements of nurture to view the invitation so it can be accepted.

The requirement is Presence and Compassion.

The path may not be clear through the suffering, but an important mission begins to unfold.

The calling of, “who do you get to become throughout the experience?”

The acceptance of healing guides us toward our truth- The transformation into the depth of empathetic awakening.

It is no longer viewed as a detriment. Accepting what is being experienced is part of the path.

What is revealed are the patterns and unprocessed wounds. An opportunity for resolution.

In the deeper truth, discomfort isn’t avoided. It is welcomed as an igniter for awakening throughout the process. An evolution of our being.

What prolongs the suffering

Being in control is often a common need to maintain a sense of stability. Without stability, it can feel scary when there is no commonality with what is known.

As time passes, the choice to remain in the victimhood of suffering enhances its familiarity. You anticipate its presence. You expect that it will last indefinitely.

Suppressing emotions and denying the invitation intensifies the suffering and prolongs it’s effects.

When is suffering viewed as “not suffering”

Through the lens of self-compassion and understanding the inner pain, suffering can transform into wisdom. A shift to introspection converts pain into purpose.

The unfolding question appears, “What is this experience teaching me?”

Although the purpose is not necessarily to create meaning, it begins to happen naturally in the process.

The energy in the suffering gravitates towards safe expression while honoring the space of healing that is allowed to occur.

It becomes a normalized experience of expression as an integral part of the journey.

Moving from a state of isolation into an intention of connectedness.

Suffering is a gentle reminder that compassion is asking for attention.

Spiritual Side of Personal Growth

Various moments in life invite a call to access our inner capabilities. In those moments are growth opportunities. There is a spiritual side of personal growth that is often unrealized.

It is a continual learning process that never stops if it is allowed to develop.

Important attributes of personal growth could be habits and behaviors that assist with achievement or facilitate a desired outcome.

It is important to acknowledge that personal growth assists with learning new skills, completing goals, taking responsive action while embracing challenges that arise.

Personal growth is an important part of life. It necessitates “doing” what is envisioned in life.

Unrealized Side Personal Growth

What is the unrealized side of personal growth?

Awareness is one unrealized spiritual aspect of personal growth. Awareness initiates the inner path of authentic transformation when practiced and developed.

It can involve developing self-reflection practices, deepening intuition, and learning to maintain alignment with self.

A second unrealized spiritual aspect of personal growth is redefining and aligning to what success is through the lens of spirit.

Incorporating the objective of being into the process of doing infuses purpose into achievement. Alignment with values becomes an important consideration as the task of growth develops. Awakening to evolvement of inner self.

The third unrealized spiritual aspect of personal growth is to listen to your inner knowing. In that listening is trust and connectedness to the spiritual self.

The fourth unrealized spiritual aspect of personal growth is the embodiment of wholeness. The practice of awareness enhances the ability to balance ambition and alignment with oneself. The priority is placed upon honoring the soul side of performance.

Layering Personal Growth with Spiritual Growth

Using spirituality as a source for personal growth cultivates a deepening of the soul.

The presence of spiritual embodiment invites compassion and connection. Emphasizing understanding for others and self through empathy. One can develop a sense of unity and connection with humanity. This can enhance the strengthening of relationships with alignment to something greater than self through choices.

A pathway to inner peace and resilience is formed in the spiritual embodiment. This supports grounding in calm throughout uncertainty and challenges.

Cultivating Habits of Spiritual Growth

Spiritual growth habits that support personal growth are traditional practices that promote mindfulness, gratitude, and forgiveness.

Some practices may include:

  • mindful breathing
  • body scan
  • meditation
  • self reflection journaling
  • self compassion practice
  • forgiveness letters

Integrating some of these practices into your daily life can create a positive and fulfilling life. This can support both sides of personal growth.

Spiritual embodiment supports the evolving fulfillment of personal growth with the constructs of inner alignment.

The Inner Wound That Calls For Healing

Some days I wake up and I feel a need for personal growth in my day. Other days I can feel the inner wound that calls for healing.

That inner wound that calls for healing is trying to get my attention. As I listen, I try and decipher what kind of healing it wants.

The only way to truly know is to intentionally sink into presence. To be with the inner wound.

What Does The Inner Wound Want?

Does it want forgiveness from me?

Does it want my inner validation of love?

Does it want to be soothed and comforted from past painful memories?

Does it want reassurance that I will be ok and I am safe?

The past can slowly begin to manifest itself in daily life. That could be past wounds around time, safety, belonging, hurt feelings, physical and mental fatigue (burnout).

Maybe the fear that the feelings of past experiences are going to be “relived” again or will return.

Does it want to know that you are strong enough to get through these moments?

Comforting The Inner Wound

What the inner wound really wants is to be acknowledged. To be heard. To be understood. To know that it0 is cared for. The pain and hurt can still be present, but to know it is loved throughout the process of healing.

It doesn’t want judgement, silencing, avoiding or repression. It wants compassion and a supportive presence to affirm what it is experiencing in the moment.

Practicing Being Present With The Inner Wound

Being present with the inner wound means giving it focus and attention. Sometimes that may be difficult with life situations. It could mean setting aside time for the presence it wants and needs. It could be as little as 10 minutes each day. A possibility could be splitting up the total time commitment and distributing in various times of the day.

Times when you won’t be disturbed so that the inner wounds needs are honored and respected.

Allowing The Healing To Come

The healing comes when the space with the inner wound feels safe. A space where emotions can be expressed or released openly. A way that emotions can move around energetically. It could be expressed in many forms.

  • Compassionate meditation by holding a hand on your heart
  • Breathing and connecting to the safety of the breath
  • Self talk with positive affirmations and words of encouragement
  • Journaling to express feelings and thoughts
  • Taking a walk to move trapped energy in body
  • Connecting with the emotions in the body while laying down to notice and become aware of where they are

A space of inner healing begins with acknowledgement of the wound. The presence to express loving compassion for what is being experienced.

Influence Of Aligned Inspiration

Who we are choosing to be in life can be a reflection of our thoughts, beliefs and values that we consider to be important. Someone can use the influence of aligned inspiration to maintain alignment to what is important.

It can be a source of inspiration that can thrust an energetic synergy into motion.

A stimulation to access a higher creativeness inside self.

Finding Aligned Inspiration

Everyday inspiration is all around. When someone is “closed off” from being inspired they can’t see it. They can’t feel it. They are unable to embody it.

What is first required is to allow for the curiosity of inspiration to be seen. A process that may call for an intention to be established. A commitment to an intention such as, “I am inspired.” Next, accepting curiosity to become aware of the details of inspiration all around you. Lastly, align with the inspiration that is an influence to your beliefs, values and thoughts you would like to have.

Obstacles to Aligned Inspiration

There can be many obstacles to having aligned inspiration. When it filters down to what gets in the way, it is ultimately lack of connection.

An alternate focus that detracts where the focus needs to be. The influence is no longer curiosity or wonder. It is an attachment to fear or unsupportive mindset. Influencers such as fear of failure, overwhelm, scarcity, negativity, unclear purpose.

The focus is directed towards navigating the inertia of thoughts that plead their reasoning for safety, comfort and understanding. A change in the inner being will help to shift the fears. To begin aligning to the spectrum of experiences that give inspiration the space it needs to radiate new visions of possibility.

The process might include becoming present with the experienced emotions, reframing failure, prioritizing self care and responsibilities, practicing gratitude, taking clear steps to become aligned with values and actions.

Sources of Aligned Inspiration

When inspiration is aligned it can come from many different sources. It may be a word that is read. It may be a thought that is shared. It may feel known because it is generated because of being in connection to a belief, value or intention. It may be a picture or drawing that invites connection to return through emotional senses. It may be a sound, frequency, or voice.
Being connected to a purpose while doing something in alignment to that purpose may instill inspiration on it’s own.

When you are open to aligned inspiration, it is always around you because it is inside you.

Inspiration is aligned when purposeful intention is given the space to be influenced by wonder.

Accepting The Invitation To Slow Down

The reluctance to go slower obstructs what many people believe is the true definition of what being productive or efficient really is.

However, accepting the invitation to slow down can be the core basis of connection and efficiency.

Resistance To Slowing Down

One main reason that makes it difficult to practice slowing down is the mental reasoning that slowing down equals loss of progression or efficiency.

Within that are the expectations that things must be done quickly to overcome, get results, and move forward. If they are not done in this way, sometimes the meaning that is made of ourself reflects what could be concluded to be inefficiency and transforms into self judgement of how we are functioning. It starts to feel restrictive and counterproductive.

Exploring deeper into the resistance might reveal an unwillingness to be present with other factors in the experience.

A desire to move through the discomfort as quickly as possible without fully processing or “being with” what is being experienced.

Benefits Of Slowing Down

Many benefits of slowing down attribute to connection. It helps to open the choice to process emotions while acknowledging what is happening in the experienced moments. This can lead to seeing other perspectives that are commonly overlooked. There are glimpses of joy in those perspectives. Feelings of contentment and gratitude.

Reducing stress is a direct result of slowing down because of how it calms the nervous system stress response. An opportunity to reacclimate to functioning from a neutral plane of calm and peacefulness.

When someone embodies calm, perspective, and gratitude, there is often clarity that emerges which assists with one’s own trust in their inner guidance.

Ideas To Embrace Slowing Down

Steps for slowing down in life can be accomplished in many ways. It can be implemented in the tasks being completed, the intentions of BEING that are simultaneously within the tasks and integrity of functioning. The art of slowing down in the day can also be comprised of micro-habits.

Some ideas to help embrace slowing down are:

  • Begin with the routine when waking up. What will help to establish aligned intentions of slowing down from the moment the day begins?
  • Eating meals mindfully to fully enjoy various aspects of the experience.
  • Checking in with self throughout the day to be present with the current inner state of thought and emotions.

Inviting small moments of silence by disconnecting from cell phone use and other distractions that prevent the commitment to slowing down.

If you were to start by thinking of your day as opportunities for inner connection, you begin to appreciate the importance to the commitment of slowing down.

The intention of slowing down presents an opportunity for deep inner connection.

Trust In The Unfolding Journey

The journey is continuously winding through peaks and valleys. It meanders through all types of weather. Various points along the way moving towards each stage of destination. All these paths will appear and be reached throughout it’s own unfolding. The joy often resides in the trust in the unfolding journey.

Does it make the journey any less extraordinary if things unfold differently than what was imagined?

There are parts of the path that seem clear. The steps are visible. The momentum is fluent with motivating guidance to reach the envisioned destination.

Then there are other parts of the path that are unclear. The way forward is not visible. Each step feels like a struggle.

What makes the path seem unclear and feel like a struggle?

Self Limiting Barriers

Inherently, we want to know. We worry about the outer abstracts. The things that either define, validate or fulfill a desire within a self-made construct in which to accomplish or complete.

The attachments to an obsession that it must unfold in the way that is envisioned. The attachment transforms into inner statements of,

“I will be/I will have _____ if ______ only when “X” happens.

These barriers prevent the invitation to surrender to what is being created through the unfolding process. The limitations force a fixed definition that makes an outcome unworthy of being appreciated.

Not Knowing The Way Forward

What if the journey was the objective instead of the destination?

It becomes the objective when the pressure of arriving at a destination in a set time or exact way can be released. Setting intentions that open space to enjoy all parts of the journey. Trust that things will unfold as they will in their own way.

In the welcoming of trust and enjoyment are dedicated intentions that allow them to be openly accepted.

The dedicated intentions such as gratitude, mindful, patient, peaceful, resourceful, courageous, compassionate, etc.

Can you still be with the parts that are painful, challenging, while appreciating the journey for what it is?

Why does it have to be more?

What is creating the thoughts that it has to be more?

Where We Get Lost In The Process

Being able to trust and appreciate what is unfolding allows a view into what wants to emerge. What wants to emerge in ourselves, along with an invitation to what wants to emerge in our life.

What is the guiding belief or thought that it has to be more than what it is?

We want our experience to be more than it is, and at the same time, we acknowledge the potential of what it can be. It really doesn’t have to be more. Our focus is usually attracted to the perception that it doesn’t meet our expectations. Within that, we are also acknowledging the possibility that our own potential did not meet our expectations. Where the paradox presents itself is when our judgement of what is happening in our experience is right or wrong, and good or bad.

If we let go of this, what can be invited in?

Shifting Perspective In The Unknown

There is acknowledgement that awaits in each step of the journey. We don’t need to have everything figured out to appreciate the magic, mystery and wonder in the unfolding.

What are the gifts that the journey is offering?

What will help to see what wants to emerge?

What will help us to acknowledge our potential within what wants to emerge?

Examples might include;

  • the connection being made to the emotional and mental state within self
  • the learning that is assisting with growth and understanding into our own beliefs and perceptions
  • the perspective to see the opportunity that is available in the experience instead of dwelling on the perceived negative effects

Could it be a shift in self that invites transformation into a new way of functioning from the commitment to another inner state of being?

The opportunity to transform curiosity over fear. Having trust in the unknown. Letting go of control to be in flow.

To acknowledge what wants to emerge means accepting where we are at in the moment. Viewing the current moment as a part of growth and evolution in who we are becoming. There are opportunities to explore the inner questions that are circulating in the mind. Trust in taking steps in the unknown which may feel uncomfortable. Choosing opportunities that align with growth and evolution of self. Continuing to embrace the ideas that are being called into existence. Living the passion of the path that is unfolding with a purpose that combines the talents and abilities that we possess.

Opening up to the guiding light that illuminates the way to our truest self.

A shift in self happens when trust guides the readiness towards the embodiment of what wants to emerge within the core of our being.

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