Kristin Larsen

Moving Through The Seasons Of Grief

While driving on a local rural road, I noticed the leaves beginning to change color. My windows were open, and the smell of the fall season was in the air. Suddenly, emotions flooded within me like a tidal wave. It felt like moving through the seasons of grief.

Has it happened to you?

One second, you are in the presence of life, and the next, memories invade your current space of peace.

Triggered by the reminder of something you see, a familiar smell, a word or a phrase you hear, a flavor from a food, a texture that you touch.

It reminds you of someone who is no longer physically there in your life. Your heart begins to ache, and you miss them. The imagery created in that moment takes you back into memories of the past. A place that carries an open wound of grief from something that feels like it was lost.

Surrendering to love

There is an opportunity to acknowledge the hurt and pain that surfaces. In this opportunity, there is an invitation to surrender to love. A way to appreciate and honor the person who has moved on to the next phase in life. It is a reminder of how important they were.

There are many ways to honor and appreciate them. One way is through the expression of emotion. Cry, journal, or share your thoughts and feelings with others.

It doesn’t have to mean staying in the loss of suffering. The perspective of love can assist with moving through the seasons of grief.

Choosing the perspective of love

Celebrating and honoring the person or memory amidst the grief could mean seeing the perspective of love in the memories. The way to do that is through a self-compassionate lens. Accessing the lens requires acknowledging the love for that memory. The love for the person.

Be open to what is calling for attention from the surfacing grief.

Each chosen effort to acknowledge the grief, to see through the perspective of love, expands the capacity to fully love.

As the seasons change, so too will the grief pass through.

Focus transmutes grief into an appreciation of love that was never lost.

The Illusion Of Our Deepest Fear

Fear of failure. Fear of judgement. Fear of the unknown and uncertainty. Fear of no control. Fear of change. Fear of rejection. Fear of disappointing others. Fear of loneliness.

What if our deepest fear might extend deeper than these common, intricate fears?

Misinterpreting the fear

Initially, the first thought might be that our fear is obvious. To be with the fear in it’s fullest could take some time to extract what it really means in our interpretation.

However, what if the fear funneled towards a doubt that maintains the illumination of what we interpret the fear to be?

What if our fear was really that we question being enough or worthy to let go of the fear we question?

For example, what if we were not afraid of failing?

What would contribute to not being afraid of failing?
We might embody some attributes of trust, faith, conviction, belief in self, focus on being our best, utilizing our strengths, and being open to possibility, etc.

In the experience, there is room for growth and learning. Maybe we acknowledge that and believe that we are enough in that moment and worthy to succeed?

The decision to shift our focus from the fear

When the decision is made to acknowledge the true potential within, fear begins to dissipate.

Shifting the perspective away from the feared “what if’s” of fully acknowledging our true potential.

The “what if’s” are what we think our deepest fear is. I might be thinking, “If I fully embrace my full potential and fail, how will that look to others, will it mean I’m not good enough, will I still be accepted by others, what if I don’t know all the answers, etc.

Letting go of past stories and meanings

When the stories and meanings are not attached to what our true potential really is, possibility is an open canvas.

Sometimes it isn’t easy to let go of the attachment to the past. Healing and reconfiguring the meanings of experiences can assist in letting go and finally moving forward without the constant, looming doubt that reinforces the fear.

A shift towards the belief in the current state of being that embodies what it means to embrace one’s full potential.

A new state of being

What if I trusted myself, what would I need to trust fully within myself?

What if I believed in myself, what would I need to believe about myself?

What if I were being my best, what would I need to do to be my best?

What if I were to utilize my strengths, what strengths would help me navigate this experience effectively?

What if I chose to believe in possibility, what possibilities would be open to me now?

The focus is no longer on the fear. It is shifted to a new state of being that can be adapted when “being enough” and “being worthy” are embraced.

Embracing our full potential acknowledges being enough and worthy to radiate our true light within the full acceptance of integrity to self.

Suffering In The Human Experience

What does “suffering in the human experience” really mean?

A person’s attention could be drawn to the emotional side of suffering. They could display such emotions as sadness, fear, anger, and shame. Thoughts could lead to behaviors that identify with despair, depression, anxiety, hurt, and pain. The anguish of suffering is often viewed as a negative experience. Obviously, unwanted, undesired, and unaccepted. Continually resisting, drifting deeper into torment and misery.

What is the purpose of suffering

Often, suffering is an invitation. It is calling our attention to healing. To resolve something that still requires processing.

The deeper part of ourselves wants our presence, care, and understanding. The logical part of our processing wants understanding or rationalizations of why. When those answers can’t be produced, the suffering slices deeper into the experience.

What is the invitation?

The invitation is not in plain sight. It requires some elements of nurture to view the invitation so it can be accepted.

The requirement is Presence and Compassion.

The path may not be clear through the suffering, but an important mission begins to unfold.

The calling of, “who do you get to become throughout the experience?”

The acceptance of healing guides us toward our truth- The transformation into the depth of empathetic awakening.

It is no longer viewed as a detriment. Accepting what is being experienced is part of the path.

What is revealed are the patterns and unprocessed wounds. An opportunity for resolution.

In the deeper truth, discomfort isn’t avoided. It is welcomed as an igniter for awakening throughout the process. An evolution of our being.

What prolongs the suffering

Being in control is often a common need to maintain a sense of stability. Without stability, it can feel scary when there is no commonality with what is known.

As time passes, the choice to remain in the victimhood of suffering enhances its familiarity. You anticipate its presence. You expect that it will last indefinitely.

Suppressing emotions and denying the invitation intensifies the suffering and prolongs it’s effects.

When is suffering viewed as “not suffering”

Through the lens of self-compassion and understanding the inner pain, suffering can transform into wisdom. A shift to introspection converts pain into purpose.

The unfolding question appears, “What is this experience teaching me?”

Although the purpose is not necessarily to create meaning, it begins to happen naturally in the process.

The energy in the suffering gravitates towards safe expression while honoring the space of healing that is allowed to occur.

It becomes a normalized experience of expression as an integral part of the journey.

Moving from a state of isolation into an intention of connectedness.

Suffering is a gentle reminder that compassion is asking for attention.

What Is The Human Experience?

How do we interpret what we think the human experience is?

One person’s interpretation may differ from another person’s interpretation of what they believe the human experience is.

What influences someone’s belief in their interpretation of what the human experience is?

Superficially, the interpretation of the human experience could be conceived as the theory of cause and effect. One of the meanings of cause and effect is described as; “the direct relationship between an action or event and its consequence or result.”

Logic prevails in seeking interpretation. Beliefs reinforce the conceptual understanding of what the human experience is supposed to be.

If you look back at your childhood, and every five years after, how is your interpretation of the human experience compared to this current moment?

Did it change or is it the same?

If it changed, what created the change?

What has allowed it to remain the same?

The external environment, culture, or society is usually a contributing influencer to how someone may interpret the human experience as their reality.

Psychologically, cognitive rationality is essential to form a sense of reality in the living moment.

What is the relationship between the interpretation of the human experience and reality?

Can there be a right or wrong interpretation of the human experience? If each person has their beliefs of what the human experience is, can it be a neutral experience?

What we are born to know is the physical, mental, and emotional side of the human experience. The spiritual element can be learned, practiced or realized.

The physical side is the realization of birth, growth, emotions, and death.

The emotional side is the internal feelings that are associated with the emotion.

The mental side is how our thoughts, emotions, and perceptions are processed.

The spiritual side is the connection to something greater than self, which contains meaning, purpose, and a sense of belonging.

Residing deeper within the main elements of the human experience is profound consciousness. It involves being aware of what is being experienced within the elements.

The riveting part of awareness is choice. A choice to live into experiences as an individual or an interconnected being.

The interpretation of our experiences is always evolving. What is deemed important about our experiences today, may not hold the same importance tomorrow.

The acceptance of the human experience is what leads to fulfillment within it. Setbacks, grief, and suffering don’t feel the same as opportunity, joy, or love. Acceptance is the possibility to invite appreciation to the whole human experience. To transform what is perceived as negative, into a deeper awareness of what is within the experience. An appreciation for the challenge, the opportunity within it, the connection, the love, the possibility, and the shared moments.

Is it the continual quest for meaning and purpose that clarifies what our interpretation of the human experience is?

If you knew it was your final day to live in this physical world, what interpretations would become clear about what the human experience is?

To accept the whole human experience with appreciation introduces a choice for conscious awareness of the deeper elements within it.

Spiritual Side of Personal Growth

Various moments in life invite a call to access our inner capabilities. In those moments are growth opportunities. There is a spiritual side of personal growth that is often unrealized.

It is a continual learning process that never stops if it is allowed to develop.

Important attributes of personal growth could be habits and behaviors that assist with achievement or facilitate a desired outcome.

It is important to acknowledge that personal growth assists with learning new skills, completing goals, taking responsive action while embracing challenges that arise.

Personal growth is an important part of life. It necessitates “doing” what is envisioned in life.

Unrealized Side Personal Growth

What is the unrealized side of personal growth?

Awareness is one unrealized spiritual aspect of personal growth. Awareness initiates the inner path of authentic transformation when practiced and developed.

It can involve developing self-reflection practices, deepening intuition, and learning to maintain alignment with self.

A second unrealized spiritual aspect of personal growth is redefining and aligning to what success is through the lens of spirit.

Incorporating the objective of being into the process of doing infuses purpose into achievement. Alignment with values becomes an important consideration as the task of growth develops. Awakening to evolvement of inner self.

The third unrealized spiritual aspect of personal growth is to listen to your inner knowing. In that listening is trust and connectedness to the spiritual self.

The fourth unrealized spiritual aspect of personal growth is the embodiment of wholeness. The practice of awareness enhances the ability to balance ambition and alignment with oneself. The priority is placed upon honoring the soul side of performance.

Layering Personal Growth with Spiritual Growth

Using spirituality as a source for personal growth cultivates a deepening of the soul.

The presence of spiritual embodiment invites compassion and connection. Emphasizing understanding for others and self through empathy. One can develop a sense of unity and connection with humanity. This can enhance the strengthening of relationships with alignment to something greater than self through choices.

A pathway to inner peace and resilience is formed in the spiritual embodiment. This supports grounding in calm throughout uncertainty and challenges.

Cultivating Habits of Spiritual Growth

Spiritual growth habits that support personal growth are traditional practices that promote mindfulness, gratitude, and forgiveness.

Some practices may include:

  • mindful breathing
  • body scan
  • meditation
  • self reflection journaling
  • self compassion practice
  • forgiveness letters

Integrating some of these practices into your daily life can create a positive and fulfilling life. This can support both sides of personal growth.

Spiritual embodiment supports the evolving fulfillment of personal growth with the constructs of inner alignment.

The Inner Wound That Calls For Healing

Some days I wake up and I feel a need for personal growth in my day. Other days I can feel the inner wound that calls for healing.

That inner wound that calls for healing is trying to get my attention. As I listen, I try and decipher what kind of healing it wants.

The only way to truly know is to intentionally sink into presence. To be with the inner wound.

What Does The Inner Wound Want?

Does it want forgiveness from me?

Does it want my inner validation of love?

Does it want to be soothed and comforted from past painful memories?

Does it want reassurance that I will be ok and I am safe?

The past can slowly begin to manifest itself in daily life. That could be past wounds around time, safety, belonging, hurt feelings, physical and mental fatigue (burnout).

Maybe the fear that the feelings of past experiences are going to be “relived” again or will return.

Does it want to know that you are strong enough to get through these moments?

Comforting The Inner Wound

What the inner wound really wants is to be acknowledged. To be heard. To be understood. To know that it0 is cared for. The pain and hurt can still be present, but to know it is loved throughout the process of healing.

It doesn’t want judgement, silencing, avoiding or repression. It wants compassion and a supportive presence to affirm what it is experiencing in the moment.

Practicing Being Present With The Inner Wound

Being present with the inner wound means giving it focus and attention. Sometimes that may be difficult with life situations. It could mean setting aside time for the presence it wants and needs. It could be as little as 10 minutes each day. A possibility could be splitting up the total time commitment and distributing in various times of the day.

Times when you won’t be disturbed so that the inner wounds needs are honored and respected.

Allowing The Healing To Come

The healing comes when the space with the inner wound feels safe. A space where emotions can be expressed or released openly. A way that emotions can move around energetically. It could be expressed in many forms.

  • Compassionate meditation by holding a hand on your heart
  • Breathing and connecting to the safety of the breath
  • Self talk with positive affirmations and words of encouragement
  • Journaling to express feelings and thoughts
  • Taking a walk to move trapped energy in body
  • Connecting with the emotions in the body while laying down to notice and become aware of where they are

A space of inner healing begins with acknowledgement of the wound. The presence to express loving compassion for what is being experienced.

Unrealized Fierceness In Self Compassion

Self compassion is an important intentional daily living element in many life experiences. It is also important that another side of self compassion not be ignored. That other side is often the unrealized fierceness in self compassion.

What Is Fierce Self Compassion?

Fierce self compassion is making the choice to be an advocate for your needs through actions that supplement personal wellbeing in challenging moments.

Advocating for personal needs may be actions such as setting boundaries, saying no, protecting one’s rights and values that are important to them, becoming aware of and identifying your own unsupportive and harmful behaviors.

Why Fierce Self Compassion Is Unrealized

When the choice is presented to advocate for one’s own needs or protect personal rights of importance, fear creeps in and blurs the conviction of choice.

A scary thought that comfort and stability could be disrupted. The continued thoughts that judgement from others and self could emerge from taking the fierce action. The possibility that friction could dismantle the relationships. Deeper seeded beliefs begin to surface. “It will mean I’m selfish to honor my personal needs at this time.”

Fierce Self Compassion In Action

On both sides of self compassion there is an obligation to “be with” the feelings that are being experienced. Setting a boundary or standing up for yourself to protect your needs doesn’t have to mean straying from personal values that are important. It can take another form of expression that prioritizes love and connection instead of aggression and resentment.

Empowerment resides within the acceptance of feelings and honoring the kindness and actions associated with respecting aligned authentic expression.

Personal life examples of fierce self compassion might be;

  • Saying no to others or self when something doesn’t align with your values.
  • When you are not feeling well and make the decision to slow down, take a break and tend to your own needs to feel better.
  • The need to create a supportive habit for positive well being and be the motivated inspired energy required to follow through on the change.

While the tender-kindness side of self compassion focuses on soothing and accepting that state of our inner being. The other side of self compassion which is the fierce side, is more focused on tending to own needs to protect and motivate through actions of being-ness in the world.

The emphasis is suggested to be aware of balancing the tender kindness of self compassion with the advocation of one’s needs to maintain personal wellbeing.

The tender kindness of self compassion can be empowered with fierceness through a respected expression of self advocated importance.

Influence Of Aligned Inspiration

Who we are choosing to be in life can be a reflection of our thoughts, beliefs and values that we consider to be important. Someone can use the influence of aligned inspiration to maintain alignment to what is important.

It can be a source of inspiration that can thrust an energetic synergy into motion.

A stimulation to access a higher creativeness inside self.

Finding Aligned Inspiration

Everyday inspiration is all around. When someone is “closed off” from being inspired they can’t see it. They can’t feel it. They are unable to embody it.

What is first required is to allow for the curiosity of inspiration to be seen. A process that may call for an intention to be established. A commitment to an intention such as, “I am inspired.” Next, accepting curiosity to become aware of the details of inspiration all around you. Lastly, align with the inspiration that is an influence to your beliefs, values and thoughts you would like to have.

Obstacles to Aligned Inspiration

There can be many obstacles to having aligned inspiration. When it filters down to what gets in the way, it is ultimately lack of connection.

An alternate focus that detracts where the focus needs to be. The influence is no longer curiosity or wonder. It is an attachment to fear or unsupportive mindset. Influencers such as fear of failure, overwhelm, scarcity, negativity, unclear purpose.

The focus is directed towards navigating the inertia of thoughts that plead their reasoning for safety, comfort and understanding. A change in the inner being will help to shift the fears. To begin aligning to the spectrum of experiences that give inspiration the space it needs to radiate new visions of possibility.

The process might include becoming present with the experienced emotions, reframing failure, prioritizing self care and responsibilities, practicing gratitude, taking clear steps to become aligned with values and actions.

Sources of Aligned Inspiration

When inspiration is aligned it can come from many different sources. It may be a word that is read. It may be a thought that is shared. It may feel known because it is generated because of being in connection to a belief, value or intention. It may be a picture or drawing that invites connection to return through emotional senses. It may be a sound, frequency, or voice.
Being connected to a purpose while doing something in alignment to that purpose may instill inspiration on it’s own.

When you are open to aligned inspiration, it is always around you because it is inside you.

Inspiration is aligned when purposeful intention is given the space to be influenced by wonder.

Scroll to Top