habit change Archives

Unrealized Fierceness In Self Compassion

Posted on March 31, 2025 by Kristin Larsen

Self compassion is an important intentional daily living element in many life experiences. It is also important that another side of self compassion not be ignored. That other side is often the unrealized fierceness in self compassion.

What Is Fierce Self Compassion?

Fierce self compassion is making the choice to be an advocate for your needs through actions that supplement personal wellbeing in challenging moments.

Advocating for personal needs may be actions such as setting boundaries, saying no, protecting one’s rights and values that are important to them, becoming aware of and identifying your own unsupportive and harmful behaviors.

Why Fierce Self Compassion Is Unrealized

When the choice is presented to advocate for one’s own needs or protect personal rights of importance, fear creeps in and blurs the conviction of choice.

A scary thought that comfort and stability could be disrupted. The continued thoughts that judgement from others and self could emerge from taking the fierce action. The possibility that friction could dismantle the relationships. Deeper seeded beliefs begin to surface. “It will mean I’m selfish to honor my personal needs at this time.”

Fierce Self Compassion In Action

On both sides of self compassion there is an obligation to “be with” the feelings that are being experienced. Setting a boundary or standing up for yourself to protect your needs doesn’t have to mean straying from personal values that are important. It can take another form of expression that prioritizes love and connection instead of aggression and resentment.

Empowerment resides within the acceptance of feelings and honoring the kindness and actions associated with respecting aligned authentic expression.

Personal life examples of fierce self compassion might be;

Saying no to others or self when something doesn’t align with your values.
When you are not feeling well and make the decision to slow down, take a break and tend to your own needs to feel better.
The need to create a supportive habit for positive well being and be the motivated inspired energy required to follow through on the change.

While the tender-kindness side of self compassion focuses on soothing and accepting that state of our inner being. The other side of self compassion which is the fierce side, is more focused on tending to own needs to protect and motivate through actions of being-ness in the world.

The emphasis is suggested to be aware of balancing the tender kindness of self compassion with the advocation of one’s needs to maintain personal wellbeing.

The tender kindness of self compassion can be empowered with fierceness through a respected expression of self advocated importance.

Building The Habit of BEING Integrity

Posted on January 28, 2025 by Kristin Larsen

I am who I say I am. Being integrity to my words.

I am who I think I am. Being integrity to my values.

I am what I say I will do. Being integrity to my actions.

Being integrity is an important contributor to living into our full potential, performing at our best, uncovering aligned possibility, and living with continual passion.

One, or all of these areas we desire to live into most often seems to be what is wanted in relation to what is occurring in our inner and outer reality.

What does BEING inner integrity mean?

In my life I have found inner integrity to be a spiritual partnering with myself. It is comprised of attributes that hold a place for my intentions. These attributes include;

Accountability
Loyalty
Honesty
Discernment
Respect

Every way of being starts with accountability. Knowing and accepting there is a choice. In that choice is a reliance of knowing that I can rely on myself to make the necessary choice. Maintaining an appreciation for self throughout the process of making the choice with the ensuing consequences that follow, regardless of what they might be. Having honesty with self in all the moments that invite a choice into my focus. Holding clear discernment by initiating connection to presence. Giving self respect through kindness, compassion, dignity without feeling the need to compromise self worth.

Building the habits of inner integrity

If someone were to choose accountability to build the habits of inner integrity it might include embodying intentions such as courage, trust, compassion. There may be setbacks throughout the process of building the habits. It is important to take ownership of mistakes or choices along the way. Inviting compassion into the process can assist with being open to inner feedback without attaching self to any judgement that may or may not accompany the feedback. Pausing to reflect on the actions that are being taken to ensure alignment with values. Adapting and adjusting to the occurring habit changes by recommitting to the importance of being inner integrity with self. Shifting perspective to dedicate to a life long journey of each individual day opportunities for growth, healing and transformation.

Where to start in my inner integrity journey

There is no wrong place to start. It is a journey filled with exploration and discovery. The joy of acknowledging who you are becoming along the way. To determine where to start, a better question might be, “Who is the person I want to be on my journey of being inner integrity?”

Having a clear vision of what attributes would need to be strengthened to be what inner integrity means to self.

The formation of inner integrity begins with a chosen intention to accept accountability to have a soulful bond with self.

Accepting The Invitation To Slow Down

Posted on December 28, 2024 by Kristin Larsen

The reluctance to go slower obstructs what many people believe is the true definition of what being productive or efficient really is.

However, accepting the invitation to slow down can be the core basis of connection and efficiency.

Resistance To Slowing Down

One main reason that makes it difficult to practice slowing down is the mental reasoning that slowing down equals loss of progression or efficiency.

Within that are the expectations that things must be done quickly to overcome, get results, and move forward. If they are not done in this way, sometimes the meaning that is made of ourself reflects what could be concluded to be inefficiency and transforms into self judgement of how we are functioning. It starts to feel restrictive and counterproductive.

Exploring deeper into the resistance might reveal an unwillingness to be present with other factors in the experience.

A desire to move through the discomfort as quickly as possible without fully processing or “being with” what is being experienced.

Benefits Of Slowing Down

Many benefits of slowing down attribute to connection. It helps to open the choice to process emotions while acknowledging what is happening in the experienced moments. This can lead to seeing other perspectives that are commonly overlooked. There are glimpses of joy in those perspectives. Feelings of contentment and gratitude.

Reducing stress is a direct result of slowing down because of how it calms the nervous system stress response. An opportunity to reacclimate to functioning from a neutral plane of calm and peacefulness.

When someone embodies calm, perspective, and gratitude, there is often clarity that emerges which assists with one’s own trust in their inner guidance.

Ideas To Embrace Slowing Down

Steps for slowing down in life can be accomplished in many ways. It can be implemented in the tasks being completed, the intentions of BEING that are simultaneously within the tasks and integrity of functioning. The art of slowing down in the day can also be comprised of micro-habits.

Some ideas to help embrace slowing down are:

Begin with the routine when waking up. What will help to establish aligned intentions of slowing down from the moment the day begins?
Eating meals mindfully to fully enjoy various aspects of the experience.
Checking in with self throughout the day to be present with the current inner state of thought and emotions.

Inviting small moments of silence by disconnecting from cell phone use and other distractions that prevent the commitment to slowing down.

If you were to start by thinking of your day as opportunities for inner connection, you begin to appreciate the importance to the commitment of slowing down.

The intention of slowing down presents an opportunity for deep inner connection.

Expanding The Inner Capacity For Unease

Posted on September 29, 2024 by Kristin Larsen

Many meanings could be derived from the word “unease.” A few meanings that come to my mind when I think of unease are stress, tension, struggle, and discomfort. I have thought about how someone is capable of expanding the inner capacity for unease in the moment.

As I reflect on my own experiences, I acknowledge one area of focus which helps reduce unease. It is the nourishing actions that can be taken to navigate the stresses in the experiences. The other invitation is to expand the inner capacity to be with the unease.

What could expanding the inner capacity to be with unease mean?

Staying Stuck in the Unease

In that state of frustration, helplessness, powerlessness, it is not reasonable to imagine or see the possibility to have the capacity to be with unease. It can be extremely uncomfortable. It might feel like something must be wrong. A strong-willed judgement about what is being experienced.

An inner subconscious voice says it is something that must be solved. There are steps that must be taken to relieve the suffering as if resembling some sort of systematic equation.

It feels like there is relief when a result is produced. It could be a desired outcome, remembering when a desired outcome happened, feeling belief in something, feeling accepted by others, feeling connection with others, the ideation of being right, honoring one’s own values. *

Getting Unstuck From the Unease

Something that remains constant in the discomfort of unease is choice. The ego wants to have input towards if the choice will be legitimately helpful or safe to move away from unease.

What can be helpful in transforming a disempowering experience into an empowering experience is dedicating focus to habits and behavior.

Taking the time to understand what habits support being with unease and navigating in it’s space. Some habits may include practicing self compassion, meditating, praying, slowing down to be in silence, journaling, exercise, yoga, or simply getting outside in nature.

Creating awareness for behaviors that nurture the evolution of healing and empowerment. Authentic self expression that enables acceptance for vulnerability. Having accountability for the intentions being lived into. Allowing trust to encompass being within the experience.

Being With The Unease In Grace

The discomfort is setting in. I am feeling helpless. I am not seeing choices. I am feeling the stress of this experience. I notice my breathing speeding up. My awareness offers a choice that I now see. I place my focus on my breath. I take a moment to slow it down. Giving my attention to deep inhales and exhales. My awareness is expanding. I notice the tension in my body. With each exhale, I give myself permission to release the tension from my body. In this release I give myself compassion. This is a moment of struggle. May I give myself love and understanding right now. I will let this be ok, I will be ok.

As I surrender to this moment I feel a sense of peace. I am at peace. Possibility enters my vision. Gently, I ask myself what I need right now.

Subtly, I realize I am now with the unease in a greater capacity.

Awareness awakens the possibility to surrender in the moment. The invitation to kindly ask “what is available to give to self.”

*Information referenced from National Library of Medicine, (article) The Unease Modulation Model: An Experiential Model of Stress With Implications for Health, Stress Management, and Public Policy, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6567485/

Realizing Your True Potential

Posted on August 1, 2024 by Kristin Larsen

How Do You Know What Your True Potential Is?

As life unfolds, each experience presents the opportunity to realize our true potential.
Our true potential could manifest from many forms of action. It can be a choice, an intention, a commitment, an inspiration, a vision, a responsibility.

What if it was as simple as acknowledging who you would like to be in a moment, believing in your capability, having conviction in what is possible?

If you think about these 3 statements, what arises within you?

The true potential understands the acceptance in those statements.
The focus of true potential is not concerned with worry or doubt in the moment.
The present moment IS the objective, to thrive in the fullest expression of yourself. Contained within that fullness of expression is immense gratitude.

When Will Be The Moment Of Realizing Your True Potential?

A noticeable shift will occur. The shift is an inner energy that accompanies a chosen state of being. It is a higher state of consciousness. An attuned frequency that connects to your soul. A decision to accept capability to embrace the true potential within you. The focus of concern for a result, a failure or attachment to other external influences fades into the background as the courageous authentic form of yourself leads with powerful intention and integrity.

When were the moments in your life where you accessed your true potential?

Take a moment to reflect what occurred within yourself during those moments.

What shifted in your thoughts?

What shifted in your energy?

What shifted in your perspective or focus?

What shifted in beliefs?

What shifted in your physiology?

What was your new self concept of yourself?

There are 4 experiences that come to my mind when I think of some defining moments in my life where I made the decision to access my true potential;

The Birth of our first child
Performing new job role in my work career
Enrolling in a health coaching course
Participating in a transformational leadership course

The Choice to Embrace Everything That Already Exists Within

To add some context, these four experiences were lived in five years or more apart from each other. They layered learning and growth that I had navigated in my life to that point.

The first experience was the birth of our first child. Leading to that moment was excitement, anticipation, excellence, quest for knowledge, preparation. These areas of focus minimized the worry and doubt. I had already committed to being the best father I could be. My only worries or doubts came in the form of not being able to live up to those expectations I was committing to.The true potential I was able to access was being able to adapt to situations and become resourceful quickly. Embracing an embodiment of self compassion and loving care. Accepting a responsibility to something/someone that served a purpose greater than myself. I was able to do many things I had never done before or thought I could do with such confidence. The moment my child was presented to me, I held him with amazement and wonder. How could I be holding such a gift of life in my arms? It was a precious, sacred moment that filled me with pure joy and gratitude. My true potential emerged to be my commitment through my intentions each day. To be a supportive husband and loving partnership in the learning and growth in those new moments.

The second experience was performing a new role in my work career. Feeling stagnant at my work, I decided to try something new. It meant getting outside my comfort zone. It meant there was a potential for making mistakes. The opportunity was presented to develop my communication skills, conceptualize processes, adapt to learning, and share ideas to support the performance of others to implement their new learning. It meant being committed to being an important part of establishing a team effort to maximize the development of effective results.

The third experience was enrolling in a health coaching program because I came to the realization it was my calling. It required me to look within myself and be present with my insecurities. To put the higher purpose of supporting someone before my own egoic agenda. I learned how to ask powerful questions, understand what contributes to a strong mindset and healthy functioning in life. Helping someone to implement many habits that are life changing. It was something I could help someone make transformational changes in their life. All because I was able to hold a space of compassion, support, accountability, encouragement and possibility. They were powerful intentions that I embraced within myself.

The fourth experience was participating in a transformational leadership course. Over a 3 month period I created a strong bond with other program participants. We practiced living into our intentions, supporting each other, being a stand for each other, holding each other accountable, connecting with each other, loving each other and holding each other at our highest selves. It was a challenging experience which brought out many patterns that created obstacles for ourselves, limiting beliefs, and pain that required presence and healing. There were lessons in every part of the experience. I released parts of me that I knew were inside but not able to come out and lead. I was introduced to what it feels like to live in higher self. To let go and surrender to what is. To accept myself for who I am so I could be the person I chose through my commitment and intentions.

What these experiences taught me was that a direct connection between possibility and potential exists. Believing in both and trusting that a higher dimension of oneself is awaiting acknowledgement. What got in the way of realizing my true potential was my ego, daily habits that were not supporting my higher self, my continual patterns of disfunction and the required healing to let go of the attachment to inner suffering. It prevented me from being the full expression of my authentic self and to embrace the wholehearted person that I am meant to be in life.

What have the pivotal moments in your life taught you about what holds you back from realizing your true potential?

A choice exists to view true potential as a future possibility that allows the belief to also be a present reality.

Bring Awareness In The Body

Posted on February 29, 2024 by Kristin Larsen

Bring awareness back in your body to stay focused in life

To stay focused requires minimal distraction in the mind. It is interesting how chaos could ensue around someone, yet they are able to maintain focus.

I wonder why that is?

A typical day in life for example, getting lost in all the intricacies of tasks, obligations, responsibilities.

How can someone stay focused with so much going on?

Being in tune with our senses of what is occurring in our body can help to maintain focus on the joy of who we are, what is happening in our perceptual world.

It is a form of appreciative acknowledgement. Accepting what is happening without resistance.

The awareness in our body connects us back to ourselves.

It is a grounding into the current moment.

Tune into the moment without the chaos diverting our attention somewhere other than what is happening right now.

The mind connects back with the body.

You take the time to feel your feet on the ground. You allow yourself to be open to observation as time was taken to notice.

To feel the sensations, the energy in your body.

Where are they being held, stored, restricted?

Taking small steps to incorporate awareness in your body throughout the day will provide advantages of focus in life.

You may notice yourself stepping out of fear based thinking, listening with greater intention, less frustration, overall appreciative awareness for right now.

3 Ways To Create Awareness In The Body

Body Scan
Movement
Intentional Reflection/Expression

The body scan is a technique used to intentionally bring attention to individual parts of the body without judging them.

Movement when done mindfully helps to connect yourself back to your body to truly feel the various areas of the body in greater appreciation.

Intentional reflection offers a form of expression that creates a conscious awareness of the things that benefit the body in it’s functioning and movement while also identifying what obstructs it’s effectiveness.

Connecting back to the body is a choice that aids in the life healing process. It allows feelings and thoughts to surface that would otherwise be suppressed.

As the practice becomes stronger, so does the efficiency of how quickly someone can tune into their body.

After experimenting with the sensations in the body, bring them into awareness and feel a powerful experience of focused presence within you.

Connection to the body is a conscious awareness to the residing messages below the superficial functioning in life.

The Transformational Journey

Posted on January 27, 2024 by Kristin Larsen

What is a Transformational Journey

The transformational journey could be sparked by a moment or experience that elicits a profound shift to follow an unknown path of exploration. This winding path unearths many discoveries within self and through the lens in which someone views life.

Sometimes it can feel like a “calling.” Other times it can feel like an opportunity for change mixed with confusion, fear of the unknown but knowing the next step is necessary. Inner knowing is acknowledged and reasoning or rational contemplation is accepted even though the path may not be clear at the time.

It can be a spiritual unraveling. An intensified connection to the “change” that is about to occur. It could feel like something is missing. A revolutionary awakening within ourself. The confrontation of fear and overcoming it for the necessary growth to learn or heal along the path to BECOMING.

Arising to a vision of higher self.

What Makes The Transformational Journey Exciting

who you become in the process
following your values
accessing your higher self
utilizing your gifts
overcome fears

What Makes The Transformational Journey Challenging

an unknown end or destination
surrendering to trust and faith
letting go of old/outdated/misaligned belief concepts
habit change
navigating emotional turbulence

In the book, A Shift In Being, author and Transformational Coach, Leon VanderPol shares how the stages of the transformational journey begins with an awakening of two forces. “A disruptive inner earthquake or “crisis of integrity” that begins to shake up the status quo, and an inner impulse or call that says “there is more to who you are than you have come to believe – it’s time to know thyself.”

In his explanation he continues to say that these forces guide someone down the path of transformation with the assistance of two actions which are;

Letting Go and Letting Come.

What this means is letting go of our constructed self concept that does not align with our emergence of selfhood. Growing into the expressional experiences of the newborn ascension of selfhood.

The perception of the journey also seems difficult because of the feelings of being alone and isolated throughout the process.

Throughout the process is learning to disseminate elements of true self while recognizing recurring ego patterns.

What To Remember When You Are In It

The journey could be filled with many steps. It is important to acknowledge each step and appreciate that each step is an important piece in the transformational process. A small step could make a drastic impact in the tides of change.

Allow the openness to explore new concepts, ideas and perspectives. The transition might require different ways of thinking, different ways of viewing things, and different ways of choosing how to function.

Choose to remain in the present moment. Placing too much focus on the outcome or end of the journey will undoubtably remove the joy and gratitude in the cycle of inner metamorphosis.

Receive the messages of “what can I learn” and “what is this teaching me” with open arms. The curiosity reduces judgement and replaces with a focus on vast opportunities for powerful intentions.

The spiritual path of enlightenment is a revelation in the discovery of awakening to true self. It does not discriminate against fear but welcomes trust in loving surrender.

Journey Into a New Year

Posted on December 29, 2023 by Kristin Larsen

Where the journey starts and where it continues

This past year was a journey through many experiences. The navigation through the need to accomplish, rest, contemplate, reflect, realize, awaken. They all assisted to connect to the inner motivation to feel content and complete.

Most of the moments emerged in their own way. It was simply about letting them emerge. It may not have felt like it was the “right time”, but there was no denying their importance in the journey.

There could have been a choice to resist or avoid. They would have still emerged at another time.

Transform the experiences

To allow presence of the experience, shifts one’s perspective through gratitude while acknowledging the blessings.

It could be argued that other choices may have altered the experiences. That is also true, and that would lead to a different path on the journey.

There is a reason this journey is meant to be. There is something to be appreciated and something to be learned.

A Calling For Connection

What wants to be realized and what wants to be revealed?

What will be possible and who will I get to be in the process?

A sense of trust develops. A knowing that everything will be ok.

Personal growth and transformation are part of the journey.

Surrender to the process.

Let go of outdated beliefs and ideals that no longer serve.

Cultivate the necessary empowerment to thrive.

Functioning with focus in a clearly defined vision.

What will help to realize the potential of self?

What will help to execute actions with alignment and integrity?

What will help to see clarity for opportunities?
What will help to ignite the craving of the soul?

What is required

Daily supportive habits that nourish the mind, body, soulful spirit.
A disciplined mindset that welcomes resilience and love.
Consistent intentions that fuel motivation and inspiration.
A purpose that connects with your heart.

Take a moment and reflect, where has your journey brought you to this moment of here and now?

Where will be your continuation and starting point when the New Year begins?

The challenge most often resides in the acceptance that there is no wrong place to be on the path.

What if, you believed that each aspect of the journey was a gift that was unveiling something about yourself. Revealing your higher potential. Unearthing unlimited possibilities through broadened perspectives. Guiding an energetic force of passion towards your daily efforts and actions.

Approach each day as a praise of gratitude for the many gifts and opportunities that are ready to be acknowledged. Cultivate the awareness of what makes everything extraordinary. You will witness other perspectives that extend an invitation to live into an astonishing life overflowing with joy.

The emergence of each experience is a blessing to be honored. It is a selfless journey that has no end.

Ideas That Ignite Curiosity To Love With Courage!