Kristin Larsen

Moving Through The Seasons Of Grief

While driving on a local rural road, I noticed the leaves beginning to change color. My windows were open, and the smell of the fall season was in the air. Suddenly, emotions flooded within me like a tidal wave. It felt like moving through the seasons of grief.

Has it happened to you?

One second, you are in the presence of life, and the next, memories invade your current space of peace.

Triggered by the reminder of something you see, a familiar smell, a word or a phrase you hear, a flavor from a food, a texture that you touch.

It reminds you of someone who is no longer physically there in your life. Your heart begins to ache, and you miss them. The imagery created in that moment takes you back into memories of the past. A place that carries an open wound of grief from something that feels like it was lost.

Surrendering to love

There is an opportunity to acknowledge the hurt and pain that surfaces. In this opportunity, there is an invitation to surrender to love. A way to appreciate and honor the person who has moved on to the next phase in life. It is a reminder of how important they were.

There are many ways to honor and appreciate them. One way is through the expression of emotion. Cry, journal, or share your thoughts and feelings with others.

It doesn’t have to mean staying in the loss of suffering. The perspective of love can assist with moving through the seasons of grief.

Choosing the perspective of love

Celebrating and honoring the person or memory amidst the grief could mean seeing the perspective of love in the memories. The way to do that is through a self-compassionate lens. Accessing the lens requires acknowledging the love for that memory. The love for the person.

Be open to what is calling for attention from the surfacing grief.

Each chosen effort to acknowledge the grief, to see through the perspective of love, expands the capacity to fully love.

As the seasons change, so too will the grief pass through.

Focus transmutes grief into an appreciation of love that was never lost.

Suffering In The Human Experience

What does “suffering in the human experience” really mean?

A person’s attention could be drawn to the emotional side of suffering. They could display such emotions as sadness, fear, anger, and shame. Thoughts could lead to behaviors that identify with despair, depression, anxiety, hurt, and pain. The anguish of suffering is often viewed as a negative experience. Obviously, unwanted, undesired, and unaccepted. Continually resisting, drifting deeper into torment and misery.

What is the purpose of suffering

Often, suffering is an invitation. It is calling our attention to healing. To resolve something that still requires processing.

The deeper part of ourselves wants our presence, care, and understanding. The logical part of our processing wants understanding or rationalizations of why. When those answers can’t be produced, the suffering slices deeper into the experience.

What is the invitation?

The invitation is not in plain sight. It requires some elements of nurture to view the invitation so it can be accepted.

The requirement is Presence and Compassion.

The path may not be clear through the suffering, but an important mission begins to unfold.

The calling of, “who do you get to become throughout the experience?”

The acceptance of healing guides us toward our truth- The transformation into the depth of empathetic awakening.

It is no longer viewed as a detriment. Accepting what is being experienced is part of the path.

What is revealed are the patterns and unprocessed wounds. An opportunity for resolution.

In the deeper truth, discomfort isn’t avoided. It is welcomed as an igniter for awakening throughout the process. An evolution of our being.

What prolongs the suffering

Being in control is often a common need to maintain a sense of stability. Without stability, it can feel scary when there is no commonality with what is known.

As time passes, the choice to remain in the victimhood of suffering enhances its familiarity. You anticipate its presence. You expect that it will last indefinitely.

Suppressing emotions and denying the invitation intensifies the suffering and prolongs it’s effects.

When is suffering viewed as “not suffering”

Through the lens of self-compassion and understanding the inner pain, suffering can transform into wisdom. A shift to introspection converts pain into purpose.

The unfolding question appears, “What is this experience teaching me?”

Although the purpose is not necessarily to create meaning, it begins to happen naturally in the process.

The energy in the suffering gravitates towards safe expression while honoring the space of healing that is allowed to occur.

It becomes a normalized experience of expression as an integral part of the journey.

Moving from a state of isolation into an intention of connectedness.

Suffering is a gentle reminder that compassion is asking for attention.

Letting Intentions of Our Being-ness Lead

In each moment there is a thought to how we would like to function. It doesn’t always mean functioning in the way we would like. An important factor in functioning in the way we would like requires letting intentions of our being-ness lead.

To allow intentions of our being-ness to lead means understanding what intentions are and what their importance is in day to day life.

What is an intention of our being?

An intention is an idea that you plan to carry out. In order to carry out the intention you must be committed to it’s action. To be committed to it’s action you must embody the true essence of the intention. The intention requires determination to follow through with accompanying actions. It has been conceived in the mind and becomes the focus of being. The being-ness of the intention is devotion to it’s embodiment within.

What role do intentions of our being have in our life?

Intentions act as our guide in life. When they are paired with our values, they form a powerful combination of navigating influencers that lead the way.

Anyone can have an intention. What makes the intention significant is that it coincides with the true way of functioning that someone would like. The epicenter of operation can originate from the intention. Life could be in chaos but living from the intention could be the difference between staying grounded and focused or letting anxiety and disarray be in control.

I feel that, “intentions are the backbone of operating in our reality, no matter what is occurring in that reality.”

Being your intentions

What will be required to BE your intentions?

A commitment, a dedication, being integrity to the desired intentions. An example would be if I choose to be compassion, then my thoughts and actions must originate from that intention. It could mean shifting perspectives or changing my focus from contexts that are happening that don’t align with that intention. It might not necessarily mean I agree with everything that is occurring in that moment. However, it doesn’t change the intention of compassion that I choose to be in that moment.

What gets in the way of being our intentions

In many instances our ego gets in the way. Feeling the need for safety in one or various forms. To affirm self worth, love or finding a feeling of safety in an experience. A need to prove or be validated is what the ego wants to regain control or feel it is in control of the experience.

Coming back to our intentions means comforting the ego when it feels threatened. Soothing it and letting the heart-mind to have a moment to heal and restore. Self compassion could be a door opening intention for that to happen.

Commitment to letting our intentions of being-ness lead

The commitment is a dedicated focus to being the desired intentions. It could be a daily practice that creates awareness. The awareness then forms a choice to follow through on the required actions to be the intention. In time, it becomes a habit.
Moments could arise that displace being the intention. Acknowledging the agreement to be integrity for the intention recommits to embody the intention again without much delay.

The dedication to live by a chosen intention is an embodied integrity, “to be.”

The Path To Inner Peace

The path to inner peace has many distractions along the way.

The Distractions

The distractions are creations of hostility, distress, agitation, frustration, anxiety,
agony, despair, fear, misery.
On the path there are obstacles that will challenge the most inner way of being.
They are distractions because focus is not on the dedication to inner peace.
Stress is a major obstacle that could start off with small irritations and they
gradually increase. Many factors lead to the increase and take someone further away from
inner peace.

The question comes back to, “who is responsible for having inner peace?
It is an important question that transforms possibility and choice.

Another powerfully effective question would be, “who is responsible for being
inner peace?”

It is impossible to have inner peace without focusing on the intentions of who you
choose to be in the moment. It starts with personal awareness.

What is taking you off the path?

Where does your attention need to be to stay on the path?

How long will anger, resentment, fear, despair keep you traveling along a different
path?

Being able to process emotions helps to overcome any obstacles that might get in
the way. Presence with those emotions creates the option to release attachment to them
through required actions.
The required actions coincide with the definition of what inner peace is. That
definition includes some form of love. Love for self, love for others, and love for the life that is
given.

The ways love embodies inner peace in someone’s life

Self care. Taking care of personal needs for wellbeing, physical, mental,
spiritual.

  • Living in core values that bring alignment in life
  • Self compassion
  • Giving self love, respect, appreciation, forgiveness
  • Giving thanks to everything
  • Accepting of discomfort
  • Offerings of kindness and connection
  • Trust or belief in something greater than self

Inner peace is a never ending path in life.

How you choose what that path looks like is dependent upon the devotion you have to stay on the path.

The most basic concepts bring inner peace when accompanied with empowered intentions.

The concepts include having gratitude, practicing forgiveness, mindfulness and
processing emotions to surrender and let go of tightly held resistances in the mind.

They are habits that need to be continually practiced so the stressful moments can
be handled with grace and inner resourcefulness.

Remaining focused in the present moment is the pathway to inner peace which is
always possible. A daily commitment to ensure the necessary actions maintain the vision of
inner peace.

hat is a Transformational Journ

Awakening From Sleep Walking Through Life

Bringing back feelings from being numb in life

Everyday stress and suffering over time becomes a self defense of numbness that is carried
around each day.

It may feel like, “always going through the motions in life.”
Not wanting to feel the hurtful or painful feelings. It pushes away the other emotions that are
wanting to be experienced. The joy, the gratitude, the possibility, the wonder within each day.

It is extraordinary how a perspective shifts that numbness. Refocusing on what brings life and
energy into each moment.
It no longer feels like things are “going through the motions.”
There is a purpose and commitment to feel again. A revitalized awakening that slowly opens
vision to exciting possibilities.
The realization that intention must be focused on the thoughts which demand attention to be
experienced.

The emotions need to be processed, acknowledged and accepted. A gentle handling without
judgement. An openness to refrain from judging the judgement of the emotions. Shame and
guilt are not wrong. They are sending me a message to uncover what they are trying to tell me.

Offering the choice to let go of suffering

The one small step of being in the presence of thought and emotion begins to shift perspective.
The soul wants to wake up.

It wants to be seen, it wants to be heard.
It is waiting for permission.
Each passing day that the soul is asleep, it becomes restless.
Continually trying to attract attention.

All the soul truly wants is to be reunited with the heart. To be guided in life with connected trust and courage.

Break the continual pattern of numbing out in an attempt to feel better through extreme
satiations that fill the void.
Binge watching, screen scrolling, addiction choosing activities to quiet the mind and avoid
feeling.
Fear of the attempt to break free from the safe space that has been established.
Curiosity and self discovery await a committed focus.

Begin to explore the questions,

“What wants to be acknowledged?”

“What part of me wants to be heard?”

“What would I rather be experiencing instead?”

“What do I need, what is required of me?”

Let my soul awaken from it’s slumber.

Let it breathe the fullness of being alive again.
Let the healing begin.
Let the unravelling be revealed.
Allow the transformation to unfold within.
May I see the vibrant colors of life.
May I be grateful for this moment I chose to see.

Inviting Cognizance Into Meditation

Awaking to awareness within yourself

The word “meditation” is commonly used when the topic of presence is discussed.

There are some people that say, “I can’t meditate because I can’t turn my brain off.”

Some misconceptions about meditation

  • Mediation is not about turning the brain off.

It is about being present with your mind through a deeper state of awareness.

It is about training your mind to allow thoughts to come and go without directly attaching self to them. This helps to increase awareness of yourself and surroundings.

Furthermore, it enables someone to manage their thoughts while enhancing creativity, emotional balance and overall calmness.

  • Meditation doesn’t always feel relaxing. At the beginning it may be an uncomfortable process to be present with yourself.  Someone might think there are so many other things to be done on the to-do list and meditation takes away from time that can be used for other tasks. The process of connecting to oneself actually improves the efficiency at which steps are taken with clarity and effectiveness.
  • The method of meditation does need need to be self evaluated as right or wrong. There is no wrong way to meditate. Gradually it becomes efficient in the way you become present with yourself. That is all part of the process.

If you start by meditating for 2 minutes, that is good enough. If your mind is wandering for those 2 minutes and you find it hard to sit still, that is good enough. Repetition and discipline of the routine will gradually enhance the experience over time. That is where shifts in awareness are visible.

Meditation can take various forms.

9 common types of meditation practices

  1. Mindful meditation is a practice that helps you become aware of what your sensing and feeling in the moment without judgement.
  2. Spiritual meditation is a practice that connects you to something greater than self, to develop a deep relationship with the human spirit without the need to hold identities and labels.
  3. Focused meditation involves focusing attention on an object or physical sensation using any of the five senses to help increase awareness of the present moment.
  4. Movement meditation involves being mindful of the sensations that occur during movements.
  5. Mantra meditation is the repetition of a word or phrase that is whispered, chanted, spoken while being repeated during the meditation.
  6. Transcendental meditation is a practice where you mentally repeat a Sanskrit word or phrase with your eyes closed until a state of inner peace is reached.
  7. Progressive meditation is a technique that involves two steps of intentionally tensing each muscle group in the body and then focusing on relaxing them.
  8. Loving-Kindness meditation is the practice of generating loving-kindness towards self, others, all living beings through goodwill, compassion and kindness.
  9. Visualization meditation focuses on using guided positive imagery, ideas, symbols, thoughts, feelings or sensations.

Through the various types of meditation, the sole purpose is to center yourself. The various forms of meditation offer ways to do that.

Meditation offers the opportunity to develop emotional intelligence by connecting with emotions, the body or enhancing overall awareness.

This is accomplished through expanding states of consciousness and self realization.

You get to have present moment awareness by shifting from thinking to sensing.

Here is a simple meditation to help connect to your inner awareness;

Now is the time to be aware of the present moment. Say to yourself, “I let go of the past and future.”

Turn your attention to your senses.

Focus on the sounds right now that take minimal effort to hear. As you concentrate more, begin to notice other sounds. Just continue to be present with all the sounds that come and go.

Turn your attention to your body.

Take a moment to feel your arms wherever they might be. Your legs wherever they are. Bring awareness to any pains or tightness in your body. Any feelings that are present. Be aware of the shifts in these body sensations while being present to them as they come and go.

Turn your attention to your thoughts.

Watch your thoughts as they appear and float away. Allow them to arrive and pass without grasping them. There is no need to act on them or respond to them. You are just observing them. Each thought is just a message. There is no judgement behind the message. See the messages and let it pass by without attaching a meaning to it.

Turn your attention to your breathing.

Feel your breath as you inhale and exhale. Notice the sound, the air entering and exiting your lungs. Notice the speed of your breath. Slow the pace down as slow as you can.

Allow your breath to become deeper.

Sit and be with all the senses you were just conscious to without concept of time.
Allow yourself to exit from the meditation when you are ready.

What did you notice about the present moment?

What did you notice about your awareness for your inner self?

How has your perspective of the present moment changed?

The Prize For Unwanted Anxiety

The anxiety of a racing mind and worried heart is not wrong. Maybe it is something you believe is wrong?

Anxiety Situation

Imagine you have a big presentation, an event or a speech in a few hours.

Maybe there are many “what-if’s” that begin to enter your mind.

Your imagination starts to take over and your heart is beating faster, trembling of nerves tense your body. You can’t think normally with clear thoughts.

You feel like you have already lost the confidence to do your best.

Trying so desperately to win a self made validation that isn’t real.

The misleading prize is assurance that the outcome will be what you want.

What if the outcome does not happen or questions arise about the possibilities that might prevent it from happening,? Worry and concern creep into the moment.

It is something we have all experienced in our life.

Anxiety and worry is nothing to be ashamed of.

It is part of our survival makeup.

Anxiety is something that becomes a constant background noise that is learned to cope with. It is not comfortable or enjoyable. It becomes something that is hard to turn off.

How can you accept worry and concern when it disrupts clarity of  how you would like to function in the moment?

There are ways to reduce the intensity, (possibly turn it off) to trust in who you are and what you are doing again.

First step is to stop, take a step back. Reassess the situation. Acknowledge the worry and question with curiosity the purpose of the worry and what can be done to alleviate the worry right now.

Breathe. Take deep, controlled breaths. Place your focus on the breath as you inhale and exhale. Pausing to hold between inhale and exhale.

Count to 10 slowly, and when you reach 10, say to yourself, “I am safe.” “I will be okay.”

Assure yourself you will get through this experience, and place gratitude that you are alive and get to have this experience.

Create a new meaning of failure. Whatever the outcome is, respect the things that make it successful regardless what the result is.

Releasing the shame surrounding anxiety is an available choice. The decision to let go of the idea, “I’m not good enough” because of experiencing anxiety or worry is powerful transformational acceptance.

Reframing the approach to a situation and acknowledging the present moment means you have already won the prize.

Coping With Depression Through Feelings Of Unhappiness

Unhappiness turns into depression

The moment when prolonged thoughts of unhappiness turn into coping with depression.

What do the prolonged unhappy thoughts feel like?

They feel dark. They feel painful. The feel suffocating. They drain energy from within.

Major life events can be the trigger of these thoughts. When the thoughts are created they project an emotion of helplessness, hopelessness that accompanies the thought.

This is the pivotal point when a decision is made to attach to the emotion of what is being experienced.

Over time a pattern of thought and emotional connection continue when it is triggered.

The warning signs may show being tired frequently, not having a restful sleep, sad, loss of interest in life, withdrawn and isolated.

Constantly “going through the motions” each day. Walking around numb to experiences and emotions.

Frequently feeling stuck with limited options. Everything just seems so difficult.

The belief forms, “I can’t.”

Every effort seems like a GIANT step.

Suffering in silence is then chosen as the best option. There is shame and guilt for feeling like this, being this way.

The Role Of Presence

Presence plays a major role in navigating through depression.

Taking the time to process feelings and emotions. One way to allow this process to take place is through self compassion. This will help to relieve the shame and guilt.

Daily habits contribute to the thoughts and emotions. Are the chosen daily habits serving or fueling the state of depression?

Self care is crucial to aid in producing energy, calming, and giving self comfort during the healing process.

Depression is a form of disconnection. A belief that there is minimal possibility or choice to transform what is being experienced.

The shift happens when the power to change is acknowledged within yourself.

Therefore, connection is important to begin facilitating hope, faith, trust and possibility.

Implementing ways to connect with self and others.

Are there support groups or communities that have people experiencing similar things?

Can you connect with them to share in the experience? This will help to connect back in life.

The choice is eventually made, it doesn’t have to be done alone.

Unhappy thought patterns are slowly converted into outlooks and perspectives that offer love, hope, possibility.

Clearing the way for thoughts of being in the presence of compassionate, mindful and inspired living.

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