Self compassion is an important intentional daily living element in many life experiences. It is also important that another side of self compassion not be ignored. That other side is often the unrealized fierceness in self compassion.
What Is Fierce Self Compassion?
Fierce self compassion is making the choice to be an advocate for your needs through actions that supplement personal wellbeing in challenging moments.
Advocating for personal needs may be actions such as setting boundaries, saying no, protecting one’s rights and values that are important to them, becoming aware of and identifying your own unsupportive and harmful behaviors.
Why Fierce Self Compassion Is Unrealized
When the choice is presented to advocate for one’s own needs or protect personal rights of importance, fear creeps in and blurs the conviction of choice.
A scary thought that comfort and stability could be disrupted. The continued thoughts that judgement from others and self could emerge from taking the fierce action. The possibility that friction could dismantle the relationships. Deeper seeded beliefs begin to surface. “It will mean I’m selfish to honor my personal needs at this time.”
Fierce Self Compassion In Action
On both sides of self compassion there is an obligation to “be with” the feelings that are being experienced. Setting a boundary or standing up for yourself to protect your needs doesn’t have to mean straying from personal values that are important. It can take another form of expression that prioritizes love and connection instead of aggression and resentment.
Empowerment resides within the acceptance of feelings and honoring the kindness and actions associated with respecting aligned authentic expression.
Personal life examples of fierce self compassion might be;
- Saying no to others or self when something doesn’t align with your values.
- When you are not feeling well and make the decision to slow down, take a break and tend to your own needs to feel better.
- The need to create a supportive habit for positive well being and be the motivated inspired energy required to follow through on the change.
While the tender-kindness side of self compassion focuses on soothing and accepting that state of our inner being. The other side of self compassion which is the fierce side, is more focused on tending to own needs to protect and motivate through actions of being-ness in the world.
The emphasis is suggested to be aware of balancing the tender kindness of self compassion with the advocation of one’s needs to maintain personal wellbeing.
The tender kindness of self compassion can be empowered with fierceness through a respected expression of self advocated importance.